If it's him or them that's really insane

During his trial today, Saddam Hussein called on fractured Iraqi forces to band together and fight the American military still in Iraq. He continued, "And somebody find my contact lenses! I look ridiculous!"

The judge halted the trial after Hussein's overtly political language, and the two bickered until the judge adjourned the trial. Hussein continued to claim that he was still the President of Iraq and Commander of its military, and the judge reminded him that he was simply a legal defendant. Confused, Hussein tried to gas him.

The former despot also introduced his newest line of "Dictat-wear", which is a wonderful meld of Mr. Rogers and Injured-NBA-player-on-the-sidelines.