Would anyone care for fruit, or dessert?

I have decided that I am completely unable to effectively transport a banana from my apartment to my office in the mornings. I've tried plastic bags, I've tried different pockets of my gym bag, I've made a conscious effort not to lean on my bag at all during the subway ride.

But every single day, the banana emerges bruised and browned, sometimes squashed so much on one end that there are banana remnants on my gym lock.

I'm out of options.