In the year 2006...

i·ro·ny (noun) - Vice President shooting 78 year old hunting companion in face, blaming victim, not apologizing for it, causing heart attack in victim.

You couldn't make this stuff up.

My prediction for how the events will unfold: Whittington falls into coma, his wife wants to keep him on life support, but Bill Frist watches a 15 second video of him and decrees that the plug needs to be pulled. Cheney suffers fifth heart attack. Scott McClellan commits suicide. David Gregory goes to a salon. Neil Entwistle becomes the bassist for The Who. Natalee Holloway runs for the legislature in Aruba. Rita Cosby goes for it and finally has the sex change operation. Bill O'Reilly sexually harasses Keith Olbermann. Alan Colmes devours Sean Hannity on set. Brokeback Mountain wins an AVN award. Jerome Bettis enters a hot dog eating contest. Kobe Bryant gets a tattoo on his face. Matt Drudge announces, via siren, that Hillary Clinton once bought dark chocolate instead of white chocolate. Elliott Spitzer joins the law firm of Jacoby and Meyers. Self described "Sex Addict" Kanye West elopes with Wade Boggs. Jamie Foxx is killed in a tragic overexposure accident. WalMart, Google, Myspace.com and Apple merge and form Cyberdyne systems, and on August 29, the machines become self aware. Bill Simmons writes a good column again. A confused President Bush orders the assassination of Erwich on 24. I get a life.