Friday news roundup

- This isn't as bad as letting the UAE guard our ports, but can't we do anything in this country anymore? The US is contracting a Hong Kong company to run RADIATION MONITORS in the Bahamas. I apologize for the caps lock.

Money quote:

"The equipment operates itself," said Bryan Wilkes, a spokesman for the U.S. National Nuclear Security Administration, the agency negotiating the contract. "It's not going to be someone standing at the controls pressing buttons and flipping switches."

Does that make anyone feel safe about anything?

- Madeline Allbright penned an OpEd for the LATimes, where she argued that Bush's "Good vs. evil" strategy is a failure and simply rhetorical. She was promptly assassinated by Michael Chertoff.

- JJ Redick absolutely choked in the Duke loss to LSU in last night's NCAA tournament game, shooting 3-18. Then he cried. Redick immediately filmed an American Express commercial, where the lead in was: "I don't consider myself a valuable NBA prospect..." Also, LSU forward Glen Davis' nickname is Big Baby. I know because Dick Enberg and Jay Bilas mentioned it 40 times in last night's game.