Life outside the diamond is a wrench

The Rocket was on Capitol Hill today, for some reason, being forced to testify on his alleged steroid use. I, for one, was shocked to see that Clemens knew how to use a writing instrument. Maybe it's a prop.

Clemens denied the allegations made by former teammate and BFF Andy Pettite, who claimed Clemens admitted that he used HGH. Clemens said Pettite "misheard" the alleged confession, but did say "if I did use HGH, here's how I would have used it".

My favorite part of this whole fiasco is how Clemen's wife Debbie has also been accused of using steroids, presumably to increase the size of her ego to compete with Roger's. I'm still a little lost about how this has anything to do with my life, but maybe soon I'll understand.

Clemens also said that this sordid affair has ruined his reputation, which is hilarious if you think about it for more than 5 seconds. Roger tried to kill Mike Piazza three times, he abandoned three teams, and suddenly he's a role model? This seems like one of those "Wow, he really deserved it" kind of things, like finding out that Mitt Romney cheated on his wife. This is so expected. And relished.