Romney drops out; wants to spend more time pandering to his family

"I'm thinking about taking up quilting..."

Multiple Choice Mittens is dropping out of the race, paving the way for the old man to get the nomination. I will now reflect on what I said about both men in my blockbuster column in December of 2005, "Rich men want to be King":

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10. Mitt Romney. Positives: Hero of the 2002 Olympics. Handsome. Son's name is Tagg. Negatives: No foreign policy experience. Inconsistent on many policy issues. Same hair as Paulie Walnuts.....

1. John McCain. Positives: Very popular nationally. War hero. Appeared in Wedding Crashers.
Negatives: Is actually very conservative. Victory would prove all the douchebag pundits right.

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So the McCain nomination works to both prove the douchebag pundits right and prove the douchebag pundits wrong. Personally, I deluded myself into believing that Rudy Giuliani might somehow end up the nominee, which in retrospect was, in a word, fucking ridiculous.