The big (expletive) of the South

Florida voters are coming out in droves today, leaving their neighborhood strip clubs, strip malls, Wal Marts, IHOP's, biker bars, amusement parks, Cuban delis, football stadiums, pawn shops, resorts, minor league training camps, chinese buffets, KKK meetings, gun stores, golf courses, dance clubs, temples, check cashing parlors, swamps, early bird specials, and homeless shelters to pick their favorite. And unlike 2000, this time their votes will count. Except of course the democrats because their votes won't count.

So, without further adieu (ado), my predictions.

1. John McCain
2. Mitt Romney
3. Rudy Giuliani
4. Mike Huckabee

John McCain lucked out this weekend with the surprising and yet not surprising endorsement from political ally Governor Charlie Crist, who stepped out of his tanning booth, and then out of his hair salon, to rally with McCain. Senator Mel Martinez, the one immigrant that the Republicans actually like, also went with McCain.

Romney and McCain had been neck and neck for the last week, which is surprising following South Carolina. But apparently Mitt is the only actual Republican in the race, which comes as a big shock to me and the entire Romney family -- but he's still fighting for 1st. I think the two endorsements but two statewide elected officials, as well as the Sly Stallone endorsement from last week, give it to McCain. This will end Rudy Giuliani's quixotic and offensive campaign for the White House, thank God. Here's a preview of tomorrow's concession speech:

"We'll always have 9/11."