"This is the most public yet of my many humiliations"

"Where the fuck are my regular glasses?"

This week, Kanye West had one of his nearly daily freakouts when he was heckled during his performance at the Bonnaroo Music Festival, at which for some reason he was appearing? Kanye's set started at the Hendrixian hour of 4:25, which was an hour and a half later than originally planned. As a result of the delay, the audience started chanting "Kanye sucks" and throwing bottles on the stage." And Kanye freaked out. I love this story.

The reason for the delay, was, of course, because Kanye's set involves "glow in the dark" components, some sort of robotic character named JANE, and literally took 3 hours to assemble. By the time the show kicked in gear, the sun was rising and the crowd had emptied out.

Kanye, being Kanye, took to the web to respond and fired off an hysterical missive, complete with all caps. Here are some of the highlights:

- ... I HAVE TO ICE MY KNEES AFTER EVERY SHOW AND THEY HURT WHEN I WALK THROUGH THE AIRPORT...

- I HIT THE STAGE AND PEOPLE HAD BEEN THROWING SHIT ON THE STAGE AND HAD ACTUALLY HIT THE JANE SCREEN WITH, I GUESS BOTTLES OR SOMETHING AND HAD BROKEN MY FUCKING SCREEN. REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE A SHORTY AND WATER WOULD HIT THE TV??????

- THEY TRIED 2 GIVE ME A TIME SLOT WERE IT WAS STILL LIGHT OUTSIDE ... I HAVE A FUCKING LIGHT SHOW DUMB ASS, IT'S NOT CALLED GLOW IN THE DARK FOR NO REASON SQUID BRAINS!

- FAST FOWARD TO THE DAY OF THE SHOW. MY PRODUCTION MANAGER TRIED TO LOAD IN FOR 24 HOURS BEFORE I WENT ON STAGE BUT THE FESTIVAL WOULDN'T ALLOW US TO DO ANYTHING UNTILL PEARL JAM LEFT THE STAGE. PEARL JAM ENDED ONE HOUR LATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AT THAT POINT WE'RE RACING AGAINST THE SUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- But this Bonnaroo thing is the worst insult I've ever had in my life. This is the most offended I've ever been... this is the maddest I ever will be. I'm typing so fucking hard I might break my fucking Mac book Air!!!!!!!! Call me any name you want.... arrogant, conceited, narcissistic, racist, metro, fag whatever you can think of.... BUT NEVER SAY I DIDN'T GIVE MY ALL! NEVER SAY I DIDN'T GIVE MY ALL!

Bricklayer

George Carlin died yesterday. Once again, I'm not good at eulogies, so I'll just defer to the morons at CNN and their quick vote:

Brainy brainy brainy

Here are my guesses:

1) Tan
2) A lot like the straight brain, just in better shape and more sharply dressed
3) Fabulous
4) Like a sinner

What I'm a do now, huh? What I'm a do now?

As I sat on a Jetblue flight at JFK on Friday afternoon, waiting to take off, I turned to CNN and saw a headline that I didn't believe. I turned my phone on, and saw 5 text messages, all saying the same thing.

I'm not going to pile on the Russert eulogizing, both because I'm not good enough of a writer and because I don't know how to do it. I will say that without Tim Russert, I don't know where we are supposed to go for journalistic leadership. Where are we supposed to go for real interviews that aren't about drunken celebrities or bear attacks? Where are we supposed to go on Sundays?

Time

Just the way I like it

Got it

That's it folks. I've gone from nervous, to optimistic, to cautiously optimistic, to worried, to nervous, to angry, to excited, to cocky, to deathly afraid, to a little sleepy, to pissed, to indignant, to wounded in hatred, to finally there.

It's done.

Nigh?

So close....