Goodbye, yellow brick road

"Wait, you're not molesting children here anymore? Damnit."

Michael Jackson is closing down his Neverland Ranch, putting an end to arguably the strangest chapter of his life. Jackson, of course, is now living in Bahrain. You know, where most former singers go to relax. Jackson apparently owed hundreds of thousands of dollars in back wages to employees of the Neverland Ranch. The bastard. Who would have ever thought he would be so insensitive and careless?

It's sad, really. With Jackson in Bahrain and the ranch closing, we lose an endless amount of entertainment from the strangest human being ever. We can only hope that Jackson meets a camel, falls in love, and produces a reality show on MTV. I'm crossing my fingers.