Any minute now, my ship is coming in

My sporadic (in humor's sense) posting on this space has had no excuse. I haven't been working; this should have been how I spent all my time. Crafting diatribes that would eventually go into a book, commenting on the absurdities of pop culture, honing my writing skills until I finally wrote that screenplay. Instead, I went for the easy jokes and was funny about 50% of the time. Hey, that's a better hit rate than Leno. But not as good as Craig Ferguson; he cracks me up.

Anyway, my long unsatisfying affair with unemployment is coming to a screeching halt. That's right, I got a job. Yes, a real one. I will be paid in US dollars, given a lot of vacation days, and provided with a service that I was previously unaware of called "Health Insurance"? Apparently, you can go to the doctor and he'll take of serious and not serious medical problems you have and not charge you a significant amount of money. Crazy, huh? Seems unamerican to me.

So, I'm very excited for the job, not only because I can finally get my knee looked at, but also because I'll have money again. Make that for the first time. I'll get a third pair of shoes and maybe even a new pair of slacks. I'll buy the expensive meat from the deli counter, not the moderately priced Star Market honey turkey. Sara Lee all the way. It's going to be a whole new me. Maybe I'll even start shaving every day because now I can afford to buy razor blades. The possibilities are endless.

But, I would imagine having something to do all day will also decrease the amount of effort I can put into writing this blog. All three of you will be very disappointed. I will do my best to try to write a post each night, but when you're living in a world with Sara Lee turkey, a third pair of shoes, and new pants, where does one find the time? I don't have time for pedestrian blogging anymore; I have to shave.