Final Countown

What a week! Rudy making the fruitcake ad and then getting the flu (not a recurrence of dickcancer), McCain coming back in the polls and also Rudy's fruitcake ad (which I can't get over)

6. The revolving door

That's right, McKinney and the Tank (which sounds like a buddy cop movie) have switched places in the presidential race, with former Georgia Congresswoman and current mental patient Cynthia McKinney jumping into the race and Colorado Congressman Tom Tancredo (R-acist) leaving it. McKinney got in just in time, too, because the mentally insane Green Party supporters who aren't supporting Kucinich, Gravel, or Abbey Hoffman were getting restless.
Also, she's an anti-semite and believes 9/11 was an inside job. That's excellent.

Tancredo's departure was due to his anemic funds and realization that somehow he is even too racist for the Republican field, which is something like being too gay to be on Project Runway. He inexplicably endorsed Mitt Romney, "because his hair looks kind of like mine."

5. Attacks

Hillary Clinton has registered two websites (internet, ay?) which will have the express charter to attack Barack Obama's record in the Illinois State Senate. She also had former Nebraska Senator Bob Kerrey and his enormous head subtly mention Obama's Muslim background and had villainous New Hampshire politician Billy Shaheen suggest Obama sold drugs.

For his part, Barack Obama has done.... Nothing! GET OFF YOUR FUCKING ASS BARACK! You're up against two of the best political minds ever, they're suggesting you dealt drugs and that you're a jihadist and the best you can do to hit back is to make vague references to change vs. more of the same?