I ran, for the President of Iran

That's right, Dick Cheney, Iran halted its nuclear program in 2003, despite its recent flexing and the above hysterical photo of Mahmoud peering into what I'm assuming is actually a bucket of milk. Maybe we should have figured that there was no uranium at that plant when the absurdly narcissistic leader of Iran DIDNT WEAR A MASK, but hey, we're talking about the CIA here, so I'm not surprised. In fact, this announcement by the US that it has intelligence that Iran is not manufacturing nukes must mean that Iran is in fact manufacturing nukes.

Despite this discovery of an impotent nuclear program, Bush National Security Adviser Stephen Hadley predictably insisted that Iran remained a grave threat to American national security, arguing that Iran could regenerate the program by 2015, just in time to ruin Hillary Clinton's legacy "if everything goes to plan".