Wednesday News mini-roundup

- President Bush is laying the hammer down:

Moderately Effed was able to audiotape this latest example of classic Bush dipshittery masked in diplomacy:

"Hey, PMushie, this is President Bush. You can't be the President and the head of the military at the same time."

"But, Mr. President, you are President and the head of the military at the same time."

"Hey, I've got to go."

- Strange bedfellows took a really interesting turn today when former New York Mayor, former Democrat, abortion right supporter, thrice married, cross dressing, gay befriending, racist police force supporting, egomaniac Rudy Giuliani got the endorsement of Reverend, republican stalwart, gay hating, abortion vilifying, Hugo Chavez assassinating, egomaniac Pat Robertson. So, they're both egomaniacs.

"You're getting that lisp fixed, right?"

After 9/11, Pat Robertson and the late, horrendous Jerry Falwell blamed 9/11 on "pagans, abortionists, feminists, gays, lesbians, the American Civil Liberties Union and the People for the American Way." And there I was blaming Bill Clinton.

Robertson went a little further, and wackier, with his denouncement of Disney World for hosting "Gay Days" weekend, saying acceptance of homosexuality could result in, drumroll please, hurricanes, earthquakes, tornadoes, terrorist bombings and "possibly a meteor." What I love about that little tirade is hurricanes, eartquakes, etc... are all definite results of acceptance of gays, but a meteor is only a "possibility". Yeah, Pat, I understand how you might want to be cautious with your words. You don't want to go too crazy.

Meanwhile Rudy Giuliani, whose name will officially be changed on the Iowa and New Hampshire ballot to "Nine-eleven V. Ohmygodthatguyhasdarkskinlet'storturehim" spent the years of 2001-2007 making millions of dollars, shining his head, and bashing anyone who took away from his own heroism on 9/11 by criticizing the United States in any way.

So they seem like a match made in ummm... what's the word? Oh, I got it, politically calculated morally shaky nebula. That's it.

So what brings these two gentlemen together?


Besides pissing off Mitt Romney, Fred Thompson, John McCain, and Jesus, and bewildering evangelical Christians across the nation, this move has got to scare the Clintons a bit. In 2000, before Rudy got prostate cancer/realized he probably couldn't win a Senate while still dating his mistress, the proposed Senate matchup between Hillary and Rudy in New York definitely scared Hillary. She definitely dodged a bullet when Rudy dropped out, and this was before 9/11 and the city of New York forgot about how bad a mayor he was and how his cops used to shoot black people.

So now, its seven years later, the whole "my cops shoot black people" thing is a distant memory and Rudy has real national appeal. People trust him, for some reason, and he's running neck and neck with Hillary in a proposed Presidential election that should by default go the Democrats. Even with Romney leading in Iowa and New Hampshire, Rudy's was already dangerous and this just gives him more ammo.

So, if I'm Hillary Clinton, I gotta be a bit scared. And I would do exactly what I did in 2000: give Rudy Giuliani dick cancer again.