Blame it on the lies that killed us

Oh, so, so, much can be crammed into a news cycle.

The short version: a loony McCain volunteer in Pittsburgh (Official slogan: Where Bitter Racists
watch football) faked a mugging, beating, and letter branding. She claimed that an unidentified black man robbed her at an ATM, the noticed she was a McCain supporter (I'm assuming because she's fat and white) then kicked her, punched her, and carved a "B" into her face, saying, "You're going to be for Obama"

Things just didn't add up for our young hero, such as the timeline, the lack of videotape from the ATM, the fact that HER BLOG TOLD EVERYONE THAT SOMETHING EXCITING WAS GOING TO HAPPEN TO HER, and the question of why a mugger wouldn't just carve an "O" into her face; it's clearly a simpler letter?

And the moron didn't even remember that mirrors provide a, what's it called, a MIRROR image, when she herself carved the "B" into her face she did it backwards!

Obviously, Drudge and Foxnews freaked out and ran the story as their headline for several hours until it started to fall apart. John Moody, Fox News Executive Vice President and Minister of Public Enlightment and Propaganda, wrote an oped for Fox News that has set the gold standard for Fox News:

"If Ms. Todd's allegations are proven accurate, some voters may revisit their support for Senator Obama, not because they are racists (with due respect to Rep. John Murtha), but because they suddenly feel they do not know enough about the Democratic nominee."

What in the hell is he getting at here? I don't even care because it's not true you fucking cocksuckers.