You know my name
A friend in Los Angeles recently sent me this message: "I just saw Richard Lewis picking up his dry cleaning."
This made me think about the television show Anything But Love, which Lewis starred in with Jamie Lee Curtis, which made me think about Jamie Lee Curtis' striptease in True Lies and... wait, what the hell was I talking about?
What I really did think about was the strange celebrity sightings that I have had over the years. And it's never a good celebrity. Bill Clinton, Bruce Springsteen, and Jenna Jameson rarely end up where I am hanging out. Anyway, here's my list of favorite celebrity sightings.
5. Jim J. Bullock in San Fransisco. I know what you're thinking, what a shock. For those of you who didn't watch the 1980's classic sitcom Too Close for Comfort where Jim J. played the kooky tenant Monroe, or you never watched Hollywood Squares, Jim J. Bullock is the gayest gay who ever gayed. I'm talking gayer than Rip Taylor. He was sucking on a lollipop (couldn't make this up!) in Golden Gate Park and said to a friend, "You are such a fruit." To add some humor, I was 12 at the time and somehow recognized him. He later went on to appear as a stewardess in an episode of Seinfeld.
4. Jackie Mason on (surprise surprise) the Upper West Side. Somewhere my grandmother is smiling. I had just knocked down a couple of beers, which for some reason caused me to actually say, "Hey, Jackie Mason. Big fan." What the fuck? Bewildered, I quickly walked down Broadway and spent the next 10 minutes telling my friends that I should run back up the street and explain to Jackie Mason that I am, in fact, not a big fan.
3. Gilbert Gottfried on 14th Street and 8th Avenue. Oh yeah. I was going into my office in Chelsea and there was Gilbert, in a white T-Shirt and white shorts, pacing awkwardly in place. I bragged to the doorman, who responded, "Yeah, he hangs out outside all day, talking to himself." Oh Gilbert, how far you have fallen.
2. Governor Howard Dean, MD at Dulles Airport. It was about a month after the presidential election in 2004, and Dean was clearly in DC to talk to people about his campaign for DNC chair, although by the way he was dressed, he looked like he was heading for a Star Trek Convention. Bright yellow Boston College T Shirt, tapered blue jeans tucked into white sneakers (all purchased at Jamesway), and the creme de la creme, glasses that looked like they were borrowed from Sweetchuck from Police Academy 3.
1. Stevie Van Zandt on 27th Street and 10th Avenue. That's right, Miami Steve. Little Steven. Silvio Dante. Minister of Faith and Friendship, Keeper of All That is Righteous. He walked towards me and for some reason (sensing a pattern?) I said, "Hey, Little Steven! I love you, man! I hate when people say that, but I really mean it!" Instead of punching me in the face like he should of, he mumbled awkwardly, smiled, and said, "Hey Thanks." As an indicator of how wonderful my life is, this made my month. Coincidentally, our meeting point was a half a block from Scores.
This made me think about the television show Anything But Love, which Lewis starred in with Jamie Lee Curtis, which made me think about Jamie Lee Curtis' striptease in True Lies and... wait, what the hell was I talking about?
What I really did think about was the strange celebrity sightings that I have had over the years. And it's never a good celebrity. Bill Clinton, Bruce Springsteen, and Jenna Jameson rarely end up where I am hanging out. Anyway, here's my list of favorite celebrity sightings.
5. Jim J. Bullock in San Fransisco. I know what you're thinking, what a shock. For those of you who didn't watch the 1980's classic sitcom Too Close for Comfort where Jim J. played the kooky tenant Monroe, or you never watched Hollywood Squares, Jim J. Bullock is the gayest gay who ever gayed. I'm talking gayer than Rip Taylor. He was sucking on a lollipop (couldn't make this up!) in Golden Gate Park and said to a friend, "You are such a fruit." To add some humor, I was 12 at the time and somehow recognized him. He later went on to appear as a stewardess in an episode of Seinfeld.
4. Jackie Mason on (surprise surprise) the Upper West Side. Somewhere my grandmother is smiling. I had just knocked down a couple of beers, which for some reason caused me to actually say, "Hey, Jackie Mason. Big fan." What the fuck? Bewildered, I quickly walked down Broadway and spent the next 10 minutes telling my friends that I should run back up the street and explain to Jackie Mason that I am, in fact, not a big fan.
3. Gilbert Gottfried on 14th Street and 8th Avenue. Oh yeah. I was going into my office in Chelsea and there was Gilbert, in a white T-Shirt and white shorts, pacing awkwardly in place. I bragged to the doorman, who responded, "Yeah, he hangs out outside all day, talking to himself." Oh Gilbert, how far you have fallen.
2. Governor Howard Dean, MD at Dulles Airport. It was about a month after the presidential election in 2004, and Dean was clearly in DC to talk to people about his campaign for DNC chair, although by the way he was dressed, he looked like he was heading for a Star Trek Convention. Bright yellow Boston College T Shirt, tapered blue jeans tucked into white sneakers (all purchased at Jamesway), and the creme de la creme, glasses that looked like they were borrowed from Sweetchuck from Police Academy 3.
1. Stevie Van Zandt on 27th Street and 10th Avenue. That's right, Miami Steve. Little Steven. Silvio Dante. Minister of Faith and Friendship, Keeper of All That is Righteous. He walked towards me and for some reason (sensing a pattern?) I said, "Hey, Little Steven! I love you, man! I hate when people say that, but I really mean it!" Instead of punching me in the face like he should of, he mumbled awkwardly, smiled, and said, "Hey Thanks." As an indicator of how wonderful my life is, this made my month. Coincidentally, our meeting point was a half a block from Scores.
posted by quint at 12:14 AM
5 Comments:
I wonder what some Christians would think if they knew who was singing the back ground music for one of the US army commercials, it's only the singer, songwriter, Sully, a practicing Warlock with the band Godsmack. Who did you think it was singing on the commercial, Jesus?
what kind of name is rafe? I wear leopard underwear. click on my name to learn about a new and exciting way to take your vitamins!!!
http://www.moistandtasty.com/
isn't jamie lee curtis a hermaphrodyte?
she has what is referred to in the scientific community as a "clit the size of an oyster," so I can see where her sexuality might be misconstrued.
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