You've got such a dirty mind, and it never ever stops (and, for that matter, you don't taste like her, and you never ever will)

Alright! I confess! I relent! I am so ridiculously enthralled by Laguna Beach and I watch it every time I come across it. Does this make me a high-school girl? A completely gay man? A pedophile? I don't know. And frankly I don't care--as long as it's choice c). No way do I want to go back to high school and I just can't get into the schlong. (Sorry, Serge, that's my way of saying it's over.)

Honestly--this is a show filled with the most obnoxious, spoiled, catty young people you have ever seen in your life. And several of them are hot. And their parents are funktastulously wealthy and they have vomitously amazing SoCal houses. and they seem to just hang out on the beach all day and eat at expensive restaurants and host barbecues by their endless pools. And they all fuck one another. How could you ever conceive of a better show?

That's it. I'm making it my mission to convince a camera to follow me around all day.

(Also, two big pedophile thumbs up for the new PSP commerical that features the two animated dustballs that speak with Cheech and Chong accents. It includes the line, "I can't. I'm watching carpet.")