Merchants and thieves, hungry for power
I watched the season finale of the Apprentice last night. I don't know why I continue to watch the show; it's full of the type of people that I have hated my entire life and the occasional owner of a fitness center. But, I have to hand it to the Donald, somehow the show has remained watchable and somewhat memorable over the last two years, despite the fact that I am unable to remember the names any of the previous winners. Or last night's winner. Or my own name.
At any rate, what struck me about Trump was the new strata that his ego has reached. For example, Trump appeared on Conan O'Brien last night and touted the new Trump ringtones/cell phone messages, at which point a confused Conan spoke in a funny voice and jumped around the stage. Anyway, for some reason Warner Music has been selling voice mail outgoing messages with Trump's voice, saying things like, "Why not answer your phone, you could be missing out on some really big business," and, "You're getting a phone call and, believe me, it better be important. I have no time for small talk and neither do you" and, "I'm wearing a tuxedo and flying in a helicopter for no reason. The Apprentice." He said that millions of people have purchased these messages. That means that out of every 100 people you meet, one of them has a Donald Trump ringtone. And that's why I'm a hermit.
The Donald also discussed the founding of Trump University, on online college which I believe is on the same academic level of Bovine University. But just ahead of Maryland. Essentially, Trump University just produces books with Trump's name and face on them where he gives advice like, "Invest wisely", "Be a risk-taker", and "Be born to a millionaire and then marry three consecutive models".
So watching the finale last night, I was floored to meet someone with a bigger ego than Trump. No, not Kanye West. Or Bill O'Reilly. It was the eventual Apprentice winner, Randal "Don't call me Kwame" Pinkett. After Trump bloviated about his multi-million dollar casino project and his plan to further gentrify Jersey City, he hired Randal, who scampered around the stage and then pointed to the crowd like he was just nominated to be President. Trump called him back and asked Randal if he should also hire the second place finisher, Rebecca. Randal said no, because the show is called the "Apprentice... not the Apprenti" Clearly very proud of himself for his verbal wit, he went back to gesticulating to the crowd while a clearly dejected Rebecca had salt rubbed into her wound when Trump said, "Ok, then. I could have been convinced to hire her, Randal, but now I won't." Stunned, Rebecca shook her head in disgust, and Randal began his audition for his 30 second cameo on Saturday Night Live, appearance on the Tony Danza show, and his eventual return to nerdly obscurity.
Donald, you've met your match.
At any rate, what struck me about Trump was the new strata that his ego has reached. For example, Trump appeared on Conan O'Brien last night and touted the new Trump ringtones/cell phone messages, at which point a confused Conan spoke in a funny voice and jumped around the stage. Anyway, for some reason Warner Music has been selling voice mail outgoing messages with Trump's voice, saying things like, "Why not answer your phone, you could be missing out on some really big business," and, "You're getting a phone call and, believe me, it better be important. I have no time for small talk and neither do you" and, "I'm wearing a tuxedo and flying in a helicopter for no reason. The Apprentice." He said that millions of people have purchased these messages. That means that out of every 100 people you meet, one of them has a Donald Trump ringtone. And that's why I'm a hermit.
The Donald also discussed the founding of Trump University, on online college which I believe is on the same academic level of Bovine University. But just ahead of Maryland. Essentially, Trump University just produces books with Trump's name and face on them where he gives advice like, "Invest wisely", "Be a risk-taker", and "Be born to a millionaire and then marry three consecutive models".
So watching the finale last night, I was floored to meet someone with a bigger ego than Trump. No, not Kanye West. Or Bill O'Reilly. It was the eventual Apprentice winner, Randal "Don't call me Kwame" Pinkett. After Trump bloviated about his multi-million dollar casino project and his plan to further gentrify Jersey City, he hired Randal, who scampered around the stage and then pointed to the crowd like he was just nominated to be President. Trump called him back and asked Randal if he should also hire the second place finisher, Rebecca. Randal said no, because the show is called the "Apprentice... not the Apprenti" Clearly very proud of himself for his verbal wit, he went back to gesticulating to the crowd while a clearly dejected Rebecca had salt rubbed into her wound when Trump said, "Ok, then. I could have been convinced to hire her, Randal, but now I won't." Stunned, Rebecca shook her head in disgust, and Randal began his audition for his 30 second cameo on Saturday Night Live, appearance on the Tony Danza show, and his eventual return to nerdly obscurity.
Donald, you've met your match.
posted by quint at 10:37 PM
1 Comments:
D, Kudos on the blog. I'm a big fan of the Talmud setup (i.e., commentary on the commentary). You think you can escape your Brandeis roots? Hah.
And BTW, the Apprentice review is great. But you've got to admit that the drama contained therein is nothing compared to the cinematic magic that we witnessed immediately before. Damn, Wild Things 3 is a, err, great film.
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