Dreams do come true

Apparently, the Defense Department believes that Al Queda has recruited Scuba Steve to lead their assault against the United States, because they are now researching placing neural implants into sharks so the fish can serve as underwater spies.

I love this plan. A few problems with this "Smart shark" program, though. First, it will clearly result in the gruesome death of Samuel L. Jackson, and possibly Michael Rapaport, which wouldn't be a bad thing. Secondly, are you fucking kidding me? Has the Pentagon ever heard of the word: "priorities"? And finally, the problem with a shark is he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn't even seem to be livin'... 'til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin' and your hollerin' those sharks come in and... they rip you to pieces.