Andrew Dice Greyhound Bus Driver

Greyhound must be training their drivers to be comedians, because the last two guys I had on the Boston-New York leg have been a little heavy on the jokes, with the last one throwing out these little nuggets:

- "Don't take the wrong luggage, you don't want your girlfriend opening up your bag and finding lingerie. No honey for you tonight."

- (Discussing cell phone usage) "You might have to call your boyfriend or girlfriend. Girls calling boyfriends, or girls calling girlfriends. or boys calling boyfriends. It is Boston, after all."

- "Please don't remove your shoes, the bus will smell like a fish market."

- "My name is Ben. You can call me Ben, but please don't call me Ben Laden."

So the last one I don't really get. I was trying to think about how he came up with it: "Hmm... How do offend everyone on a bus from New York while simultaneously making an incredibly bad pun? I've got it!" Doesn't really fit in with his humor.

So here's my advice to the Greyhound drivers: Just get me there. If you want to stop at that Roy Rogers on 84, feel free to do that, too, but stay clear of making sexually suggestive comments, insulting homosexuals, and drudging up memories of terrorist attacks. And for God's sake, why did you show Quigley Down Under as the movie?