A little sliver of human nature

Over the past three years, Evite has become the most popular way to invite people to parties and also to broadcast to the general public how popular or unpopular you are. Ok, you've invited 311 people, that's great. It's still going to be the same 25 people hovering around the refrigerator. By the way, how do you know 311 people?

So beyond the chest bumping of overall popularity provided to the inviters, Evite also allows the invitees to subject the rest of us to their ego stroking in the form of telling the world how busy they are. This is an hilarious actual example of some "No" responses on a recent Evite invitation I received:


To me, a simple "no" would suffice, but these people feel the need to tell everyone about how bizarrely altruistic and thoughtful they are, in very specific fashion. Since when did "I have other plans" stop being an acceptable answer to a party invitation? Other good answers are: "I'll be having sex with my girlfriend", "I'm installing shower curtains", and "I don't like you".

So let's just keep it simple. As a fellow invitee to a Memorial Day barbecue, I don't need to know about your philanthropic, familial, or chaperonal tendencies. All I care about is how many women are coming and whether or not they put out. Can we just add that as a response choice: Yes? No? Maybe? Will go home with guy?