Somewhere in the middle of America

So my predictions were a little off -- i'm not sure what happened. I was all set for Huckabee and have been very high on him for quite a while, but for some reason I thought Mitt's money and his dashing good lucks would save the day. Instead, a hick former Governor of Arkansas who blinks every two seconds and who only has teeth on one side of his mouth won the Iowa Republican caucus. A quick recap.

Like a Cobra, Kabam!*


Barack Obama, who is officially cooler than a polar bear's toenails, oh hell, swoops in and wins the caucus, going away, from John Edwards and Hillary Clinton. Both Edwards and Clinton put their game faces on, and talked about their quasi-victories, but Edwards has got to be scared shitless. He camped out in Iowa since the last caucus and he actually went down in his percentage? What? And Hillary. Oh Hillary. She can't make the same excuse as her husband did in 1992 -- she was the establishment candidate. She had the organization, she had the money, she had Tom Vilsack, and she placed third behind one guy who is not legally old enough to run for President (Edwards) and one guy who four years ago was a State Senator.

Thank you, Chuck Norris


A few roundhouse kicks, a couple karate chops, and a few prayers to God paid off and Mike Huckabee won Iowa. Wow. The Christian Conservative came out, and in full force -- 60% went for him. However, Huckabee won only 14% of non evangelicals. So what does that mean? It means either that Romney, Thompson, and McCain had a tight grip on those voters, or even more likely, that Huckabee turns off non evangelical Christians. Wow, what a surprise! Who would a thunk it?

Will Huckabee's appeal grow? Can he attract non evangelical voters? When is the deadline for me to support Huckabee before I go to hell? Who is that hot blonde next to Chuck Norris?

* Special thanks to MC Napkins for the Barack Obama anagram.