Thursday, April 24, 2008


I may be done with society as a whole.

This morning as I was getting ready to go to work, MSNBC's Contessa Brewer (who looks like a Contessa) broke into a report about potential food rationing in California and around the world to let the the entire nation know that a black bear was spotted in Paramus, New Jersey, presumably on its way to the great, great deals you can find every day at the Garden State Plaza.

The video of this bear, shot from a helicopter, was no different from something you might see on America's Most Shocking Home Videos, except extremely less interesting. The bear didn't attack anyone, it didn't break any property, it didn't rummage through any garbage cans or steal honey or picnic baskets. It was just loping around a neighborhood.

Contessa Brewer very condescendingly said that during her time hiking in Northern New Jersey (during her childhood as a witch) she learned that black bears were very common in the area, and repeatedly mentioned that "everyone knows black bears are often seen in Paramus."

SO WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU REPORTING ON IT? Why do you feel the need to have the principal of a nearby school call in and talk to you for five minutes? Why do you have two phone conversations within 10 minutes with the head of a zoo in Florida? You moved away from food rationing to a black bear?

The absurdity of Contessa's coverage, as well as the coverage by the other anchor who took over at the hour change, is completely lost in this writing. It is impossible to do it proper justice. The icing on the cake for me was when Contessa interviewed two political reporters about the Clinton/Obama campaign and said, "we're happy to have you on here. As you know this is a very big news morning for us."

I'm ranting.


Blogger Wiley Romo said...

Can somebody please return my lost bear? I will be waiting behind the Panera Bread on Rt. 4 in Paramus wearing a diaper, a helmet and a cape singing a song about how much I miss my bear.

6:02 PM  
Anonymous Itchy Jockstrap said...

i make a smell.

9:21 AM  
Anonymous Look, smiley! said...

We interrupt this blog entry to share with you a report of a cat in a tree. We're going live now to Decatur, Ill., where ameture footage of shows the striped feline clinging for life on what appears to be the branches of a sugar maple. On the phone is Bill Alexander, the executive director for the National Veterinary Council in Bethesda, Md. Bill, we're live... can yo explain to our viewers the type of stress this cat is suffering while it waits for firefighters to come rescue him?

10:33 PM  

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