Hump day

So today nothing of note happened to me except I nearly spit on a guy while running near Harvard and I saw a man, that's right, a man, in the gym locker room putting on a garter belt. Be warned, if you ever search for garter belt on google images and you have the porn filter turned off, well, be warned.

While browsing around the internet attempting to avoid both work and articles about Michael Phelps, I of course read an article in the Post about Michael Phelps' daily diet, which is incredible and oh fuck I'm talking about Michael Phelps:

Breakfast: Three fried-egg sandwiches loaded with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, fried onions and mayonnaise, two cups of coffee, a five-egg omelet, a bowl of grits, three slices of French toast topped with powdered sugar and three chocolate-chip pancakes.

Lunch: a pound of enriched pasta and two large ham and cheese sandwiches slathered with mayo on white bread and 1,000 calories worth of energy drinks

Dinner: A pound of pasta and an entire pizza and 1,000 calories worth of energy drinks.

While I am stunned that a human being could drink that many energy drinks and not immediately have a heart attack, what amazes me the most is the ENTIRE PIZZA he eats at dinner. That's at the end of the day -- he's already eaten an entire carton of eggs and more mayonnaise than anyone is supposed to eat in their lifetime and he's eating an entire pizza.
All right I'm getting sick thinking about this.