Wild Things

My favorite story of the week involves the ongoing divorce drama of noted prostitute fan Charlie Sheen from large breasted Denise Richards, who have been engaging in an on again-off again sexfest for the past couple of years. Richards recently accused Sheen of emotional and physical abuse, and Sheen, who spent the late 80's and early 90's having sex with strippers, porn stars, prostitutes, doing cocaine and shooting Kelly Preston, denied any wrongdoing.


Here is a recap of Richards' charges against Sheen:

- Accused Sheen of looking "at gay pornography also involving very young men who also did not look like adults."

- Accused Sheen of joining websites where he "looked for women to have sex with" and maintained an online profile featuring a photograph of "his erect penis."

- Accused Sheen of visiting websites "which promoted very young girls, who looked underage to me with pigtails, braces, and no pubic hair performing oral sex with each other."

- Accused Sheen of leaving her several abusive messages, including one where he "called her a coward and a liar and a fucking nigger".

Wow. Well first of all, Charlie seems to have a lot of time on his hands to browse the internet. And coming from someone who is surgically attached to his laptop, that's saying something. And of course the pictures he was looking at weren't of gay adults. Charlie's not gay! He's a pedophile. I did find it curious that Denise seemed so offended by Charlie visiting lesbian barely legal sites; I think we all saw Wild Things. In fact I own it. Also, I think Charlie might want to consult a thesaurus. Unless he intended to say that she was a golddigger.

Isn't this just the feel-good story of the year? And by feel-good I mean the exact opposite.