A little confused, I remember well

I fancy myself a reasonably smart guy. In fact, most people who meet me agree that I fancy myself a reasonably smart guy. Despite my long layoff from attending school and the fact that the majority of my reading is the Metro, the Sullivan County Democrat, and that screen in the elevator of my office building, my confidence in my intellectual ability is high, and probably too high. In short, I'm intellectually cocky.

So, when I received my recent verizon bill in the mail, I was shaken to my core with doubts about my smarts:

I felt like I was reading James Joyce. It got more complicated when I called the Verizon customer service line. It went something like this:

Me: "I don't understand what's going on with the credits. I thought I was getting credited for that."

Verizon woman: "You're an idiot."