Friday News Roundup

- In the "No, I was just shooting that guy to test his bullet proof vest", department, a Plymouth, Massachusetts town selectman, arrested for trying to solicit sex from a teenager on the internet, claimed that he knew about the police sting all along and that he was just testing whether or not they would respond appropriately. The telling quote: ""Sometimes I stick my nose where it shouldn't be." What about your penis? Do you ever stick your penis where it shouldn't be?

- Israel is mulling over putting a full engagement of ground troops in Lebanon, while President Bush is mulling over what world leader to molest next. My hope is Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi.

- A judge in North Carolina ruled that a state law banning unmarried couples from living together was unconstitutional and must be overturned. So, just a North Carolina recap, cohabitation: legal. Being black: still illegal.

- Not really worldwide news, but my bruised/possibly broken tailbone has almost completely healed. I still can't sit on any hard objects (Hey now!) and have to shift around excessively while at my desk. So, it looks like I'm in the clear until I do something stupid next week.