The machines became self aware

I'm entering a writing contest on a website, and one of the assignments is to write a faux news article about Google buying Uganda. Here is my submission:

KAMPALA-Uganda (Reuters) -- In a surprising move, web giant Google announced the purchase the African nation Uganda, and the relocation of all of citizens to the company's corporate campus in Mountain View, California.

"We feel that in order to stay ahead of sweeping changes in the market, we knew that we were going to have to get into the country buying business sooner or later," Google CEO Dr. Eric Schmidt said in an interview with the Business Week, " Uganda fits all of our needs. It's been very undervalued as a commodity."

"I am disappointed, to say the least," Ugandan President Yoweri Kaguta Museveni said at a press conference yesterday, "I mean, can they do that? Aren't we sovereign? I'm going to have to check with my lawyers."

While financial terms of the deal have yet to be released, industry experts expect Google to pay a substantial amount to purchase the East African country, which has an area of over 91,000 square miles and a population of over 27 million. JP Morgan analyst Winston Covington did not speculate on the potential figure, commenting "We don't have significant experience gauging the price of Africans. Lately."

"I'm not sure where they're going to go," Mountain View Mayor Nick Galiotto said. "We just cleared some space by the old football field to build a new WalMart. I guess we could squeeze them in over there. Wait, how many million?"

President Bush and California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger both applauded Google's decision, citing it as a sign of the booming American economy, as well as an increasingly global world. "We welcome the 27 million people of Uganda to California, and look forward to deporting them once it becomes politically beneficial," Schwarzenegger said.