News Roundup

- Chuck Schumer participated in a press conference. In other news, water is still wet. Hillary Clinton has an ice cream headache.

- The UAE has agreed to transfer their eventual control over several US ports to an American "entity". Can it be a company or just some sort of monster? What about Star Jones?

- Homeland Security Chief Michael Chertoff suggested that the Bird Flu will hit the United States within the next several months. Or else.

- I am obsessed with Michael Chertoff.

- President Bush renewed the Patriot Act today, sending nerdly bloggers everywhere into a deep depression. Russ Feingold thumped his chest and attended temple.

- Hey, I had no idea that the Sopranos was premiering on March 12 on HBO. Has there been any news coverage of this?