Is this place at your command?

The Republicans had another debate on Thursday, this time hosted by, surprise surprise, FoxNews, and anchored by noted douchebags Britt Hume, Chris Wallace, Human lollipop Carl Cameron, and noted Foxnews minority Wendell Goler. It was a hoot!

Highlights include:

- Britt Hume inexplicably, and angrily, asking if the captain of a US destroyer should have sunk the Iranian speedboats that it encountered in the Strait of Hormuz. When no one took the bait, he got even angrier and John McCain called him on it. That was fun.

- Mitt Romney making fun of Ron Paul twice

- Fred Thompson levelling 8 attacks at Mike Huckabee in 90 seconds

- Ronald Reagan Ronald Reagan Ronald Reagan

This is exciting. The races in both parties are so up in the air, but more so on the Republican side because 3 or 4 candidates could conceivebly be nominated: John McCain, Mike Huckabee, Mitt Romney, and Zombie Reagan.

Richie like Lionel

"That's an excellent question. I would say... Reverse cowgirl."

For the one time frontrunner and favorite of non evangelical Republicans, this has not been a good two weeks. Chuck Norris beats him in Iowa, McCain in New Hampshire, and he's left pulling out all of the stops in Michigan. He's gone dark (not really dark, he's a Republican) in South Carolina and Florida, and is devoting all his ads to his home state, where his dad was Governor and once marched with Harriet Tubman through the streets of Flint.

McCain was leading in Michigan before New Hampshire -- with a bump from the win there I don't see how Romney can beat him. If McCain wins, despite Romney's Olympian references to winning "a gold and two silvers" I think the race is over for him. If he can pull out a win, then McCain takes a bit of a lump and... I have no idea what I'm talking about. The point is, if Romney loses, the race is over for him. He can go back to.... well he's not welcome here in Massachusetts so I guess he can go back Utah.


'Cause my country, is all I know

"I can't believe I'm sharing the stage with these guys."

Despite his coma inducing victory speech on Tuesday night, John McCain is riding high right now, taking the lead in some national polls, the lead in South Carolina, in Michigan, and somewhat shockingly, is neck and neck with Rudy Giuliani in New Hampshire. Excellent.

McCain's got to feel optimistic -- a win in Michigan gives him a bump into South Carolina which is 5 days away. He has to be the frontrunner right now. Watching him in the debate the other day made me long for the McCain from 2000 though; the one who was angrier but less of a dick. Is that possible? This time around he seems more subdued but a lot more into himself. Also watching him try to smile at one of his opponents or questioners when he really wants to shoot them is about as awkward as watching John Kerry hug Barack Obama.


False God, I scuff

"I'm sick of negative politics. By the way, John McCain had sex with Fred Thompson."

Chuck Norris is in a bit of limbo right now. He seemed to have pretty good crowd support in South Carolina on Thursday, although there was also a lot of applause when the undead Fred Thompson attacked him, so I don't know what to think about his chances. Supposedly he's making a move in Michigan, but I can't believe that with McCain and Romney running hard there he will have any shot at a weird upset -- once again he should take third, trumpet that, and move on down the line to South Carolina.

Here it gets tricky -- McCain now leads by a few points. Mitt's gone off the air. Giuliani is Giuliani. But Fred Thompson, fresh off a few feisty debates, is making his last stand (and first stand) for that matter, in South Carolina. He could siphon off some ultra conservatives that don't like McCain, and it was clear from the debate that he is gunning for Huckabee. If McCain wins Michigan, and Thompson is able to knock off Huckabee in South Carolina allowing McCain to win there, then Huckabee will go into Super Tuesday with a few weeks of McCain heavy news cycles. Super Tuesday should be very friendly to the candidate who has name recognition or the candidate who has been able to break through with primary wins -- if Huckabee can't pick up another win before February 5, he's finished.


A graveyard smash

"Brains."

Zombie Reagan has a pretty difficult path to the nomination. He's polling in the single digits in Michigan, but if he can pull off a surprise victory in South Carolina, then his name recognition and his army of the undead should give him a boost going into Super Tuesday. If he can win in places like California, then... well... hide your brains.