Rudy who? Wait you must mean Huxtable

The Comedy Gods fulfilled my every dream today by ordaining that Ferretface V. 911 will be the keynote speaker at the Republican National Convention in two weeks.

Giuliani, who had the Liebermanesque quality of dropping in the polls as the voters got to know him, was picked because of his excellent campaign commercials, the fact that he's been married more times than McCain, and because 9/11 9/11 9/11.

Let's plan a drinking game. If you hear any of the following terms used, drink a jagerbomb:

"Inexperienced"
"Beautiful September morning"

If you hear these used, drink a bottle of scotch:

"Surrendering to terror"
"Sunny September morning"

If you hear these terms, shoot yourself in the head:

"Camel Jockey"
"Barack Obama was the 20th hijacker"