Are the fires of hell a-glowing? Is the grisly reaper mowing? Yes, the danger must be growing

"Hey, Vlad, am I high again? Hey, is that an Oompa Loompa?"

President Bush continued his visit to Vietnam, where this time he met with world leaders and they dressed up in ridiculous outfits and posed for awkward pictures and some press person got fired. My favorite is the guy in the yellow.

Bush today is Indonesia, a country known for reallllllly hating him, so this ought to be fun. I expect bitter protests followed by fat Republicans feigning indignity. Good times.

In other news, gravely voiced Democratic Congressman Charlie Rangel has once against proposed a military draft, an idea he has floated in the past but now since the Democrats will be in the majority, fat Republicans will feign indigity and start signing their kids up for the Coast Guard. In response to Rangel's plan, President Bush revealed that he and his entire family was gay.

Friday News Roundup

- President Bush is visiting Vietnam this week. I can't even come with an appropriate enough ironic joke here, so I'll just come out and say it: PRESIDENT BUSH DODGED THE DRAFT, WENT AWOL FROM THE THE NATIONAL GUARD, AND HAS SPENT SIX YEARS WAR MONGERING AND SMEARING PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY WENT TO WAR, GOT WOUNDED, AND ONE GUY WHO LOST BOTH LEGS AND AN ARM. All right, I feel much better now.

- All right, not done yet. The President said that the US could draw lessons from Vietnam for our current war in Iraq. The lessons? Get your rich and powerful dad to bail you out of fighting and then get drunk and high and have sex with lots of women, then get married, get sober, find Jesus, buy a baseball team, run for Governor, steal the Presidency, invade a country, and then send poor people to get stuck in war against people who are exceptionally determined to win. So... I guess the lessons are for the President's nephew, Pierce Bush? Haha, know what I'm sayin?

- The Playstation 3 was released last night, causing a near riot at a mall in Boston, a shooting in Connecticut, and also awkward encounters between 35 year-olds who still live with their parents.

- Ohio Representative John Boehner was again tabbed by the House Republicans to be their Minority Leader, to which he responded, "For the last time, it's pronounce BAY-ner". Barney Frank expressed disappointment.