Speaker Pelosi sworn in; immediately takes outgoing Senator Rick Santorum's children hostage

Do political staffers even think about the photos that will appear the next day anymore? Didn't Dukakis in the tank and Kerry windsurfing teach press advance anything? HOW DO YOU ALLOW THIS PHOTO OP?

It's a big week in Washington, again, where the Bush administration hemmorhage continues. John Negroponte slides over to the State Department, Harriet Miers is out as White House maid (I mean counsel), and General Casey is on his way out of Iraq because he disagrees with the President on what to do in Iraq. Ha! In related news, Laura Bush is staying but Barney the dog has been transferred to the Department of Energy.

It seems we lose the game before we even start to play

Our long national nightmare is over, the Winter of our content is in full swing, and I have a sinus infection/stomach ache that has made me slightly delirious and lugubrious. That's right everyone, the Democrats are taking power! Hooray! You know what that means? A whole new era of feigning indignance and incompetent leadership, except this time the Speaker will wear colorful and sharp pant suits!

And let's go live to Matt Drudge for the completely unbiased reporting of the first Speakerette of the House:


Sure, I was really excited for the entire month of December, and I took full credit for the victory as the only way the Democrats won was that I was not involved in any campaign in any way, but is it really possible to get excited about Nancy Pelosi, beyond the barrier breakingness (?) of her leadership position? I mean, Harry Reid is one thing because he once choked a guy, but Nancy Pelosi?

In other excited congressional news, George Allen, JD Hayworth, and Rick Santorum are no longer members of the US Congress, and in Minnesota a Muslim is about to be sworn into the House of Representatives on a Koran, hopefully causing Sean Hannity to jump out the window of the Hannity and Colmes studio.

Drudge revisited

Ok, I admit it. I read Matt Drudge several times a day. I can't help it. I've even written about it, multiple times.

Today, I came across this particularly hilarious photo:


The Speakerette's wax dummy looks stunning in that pink suit, doesnt she?

A slip of the tongue

Once again, I present: Funny ways people have accessed my blog.

Number 1:



Sounds like an exciting new porn fetish to me.

And, number 2:


So this would explain all the pedophilia in Congress, huh?

This is where things start, going bad

Remember the Democrats demagoguing the 911 commission, chiding President Bush for not listening to all of its suggestions and simply making political and not security decisions? Remember how the Democrats promised to enact all of the 911 commission's suggestions if they were to win control of Congress? Remember how the Democrats won control of Congress? And how about those 911 commission suggestions? Hold your horses, Lee Harvey.

That's right, Congressional Democrats are balking on the most involved change suggested by the 911 commission, the reorganization of the intelligence capabilities of Congress itself. According to unidentified Democratic aides, Congress will simply study a potential reorganization, and if history is any lesson, they will study it and study it and study it and then decide against it.

The rumored reason? Because of the boneheaded decisions by Nancy Pelosi to fight for Jowely crooked Congressman Jack Murtha for Majority Leader and bearded crooked Congressman Alcee Hastings for Intelligence Chair, she lost her political clout before she even takes the Speaker's gavel. And now because Murtha is going to get control of the Appropriations defense subcommittee, Pelosi wouldn't want to piss her good and crooked friend off by taking away some of his money and power.

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss...

Animals havin sex with 'em

Two posts in a day is becoming more prevalent for me, but only because I browse Drudge and sometimes he really finds hilarious stories. Here are my two favorites of the day (both featuring animals) aside from Nancy Pelosi's bug-eyed ascension to Speakerette of the House and Jack Murtha's bloated descension from Majority Leader:

Animals having sex with 'em
A guy had sex with a deer carcass in Minnesota, and his lawyer claims that the particular act of bestiality is not illegal because the deer was dead. The money quotes from the article, which are mindboggling:

...“The statute does not prohibit one from having sex with a carcass,” Anderson wrote.

Judge Michael Lucci heard the motion Tuesday.

“I’m a little surprised this issue hasn’t been tackled before in another case,” Lucci said.

The Webster’s dictionary defines “animal” as “any of a kingdom of living beings,” Anderson said.

If you include carcasses in that definition, he said, “you really go down a slippery slope with absurd results.”

Anderson argued: When does a turkey cease to be an animal? When it is dead?

When it is wrapped in plastic packaging in the freezer? When it is served, fully cooked?

A judge should decide what the Legislature intended “animal” to mean in the statute, he said. “And the only clear point to draw the line in that definition, I believe, is the point of death.”

Assistant District Attorney James Boughner said the court can use a dictionary to determine the meaning of the word, but it doesn’t have to...

Holy smokes! The District Attorney's name is Boughner, the article used the term slippery slope, and the judge is surprised the issue of a guy having sex with a dead animal hasn't come up before????

Dogs and cats, living together -- mass hysteria!
A cat had six kittens, three of which look like dogs. The cat's husband promptly filed for divorce.