Thank you, Chuck Norris

The Chuck Norris facts have been bouncing around for over a year by now, and they even spawned Jack Bauer facts, Jose Valentin's moustache facts, and probably others. And Chuck has taken it all in stride, responding humorously when asked about them and graciously not karate chopping his inquisitors.

But now, Chuck has become a scribe for World Net Daily, and in a column this week, he discusses the Chuck Norris facts, their relavance, and of course, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Wait, what?

That's right, folks, the star of Sidekicks, Invasion USA, and Missing in Action III is a full on proselytizer. He has always been a staunch conservative, joining the A list of celebrity Republicans including Bo Derek and the wife from Everybody Loves Raymond, but apparently aside from loving low taxes, Walker Texas Ranger also loves the healing power of Jesus Christ.

The money quote (if there can be one, this article is gold, baby!):

"...Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: "Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries. Ever."

There was a man whose tears could cure cancer or any other disease, including the real cause of all diseases – sin. His blood did. His name was Jesus, not Chuck Norris.

If your soul needs healing, the prescription you need is not Chuck Norris' tears, it's Jesus' blood..."

Amen, Chuck. Amen. If that's not a billboard, I don't know what is.

So the message from Chuck seems clear: All you cancer, multiple sclerosis, ALS, and leukemia patients out there: Stop fucking!