Shut your face

In fun political news, Senator John Kerry (D-umbass) is making a bid to be the first person to lose two national elections while only running in one. Earlier this week, Kerry "flubbed a joke" about how dumb the President is by accidentally insinuating that students who don't study hard in school will end up in Iraq. Of course, what he meant to say was he actually voted for the $87 billion, before he voted against it, but hey, politics is politics.

Bush and his good time buddies went immediately on the war path (well, proverbial war path, because we all know how Bush and his friends feel about participating in actual war) and went after Kerry, criticizing him for insulting our troops in a time of war. Right wing talking heads demanded that democratic candidates nationwide denounce Kerry, and Teresa Heinz promptly divorced him and began a courtship with Illinois Senator Barack Obama.