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On Friday, I promised to give my final predictions for Tuesday's elections, and once again I will note how bittersweet it is all for me, who got out of the game just in time for a Democratic wave in the House, Senate, and many governships, including my adopted home of Massachusetts. It feels so good, and yet I am jealous of my friends out there who will be in the midst of a victory party Tuesday night while I watch Tim Russert and Tom Brokaw.
My solace (other than the fact that Denny "Jabba" Hastert (R-Tatooine)* will be out of a job) is that I probably would have picked a Senate or House race that we would have ultimately lost.
House:
Democrats pick up 24 seats, Nancy Pelosi picks the nicest Suite in the Capital Rotunda, Denny Hastert sends sexual explicit emails to Rahm Emmanuel.
Senate:
I will amend last week's predictions and say that the Democrats will win 6 out of the 7 necessary seats (Adios, Macaca), losing only Harold "Vanilla" Ford in Tennesee, Harry Reid chokes Mitch McConnell, John Kerry emerges from hiding only to somehow insult Michael J. Fox.
Governorships:
No big news in these races as most are already decided, with the two tight ones being in Maryland and Minnesota. My picks: O'Malley knocks off Ehrlich in Maryland, Mike Hatch beats Tim Pawlenty in Minnesota, Deval Patrick wins in Massachusetts and in an attempt to show he's strong on crime, arrests and executes Kerry Healey, Arnold Schwarzenegger returns to acting in Kindergarten Cop 2, Elliott Spitzer accidentally sues himself on his way out of the Attorney General's office.
So, all in all, looking like it's going to be a fantastic day for the Democrats. In celebration, here's an hilarious photo of Steven Seagal playing the guitar:
* Trademarked by PK
My solace (other than the fact that Denny "Jabba" Hastert (R-Tatooine)* will be out of a job) is that I probably would have picked a Senate or House race that we would have ultimately lost.
House:
Democrats pick up 24 seats, Nancy Pelosi picks the nicest Suite in the Capital Rotunda, Denny Hastert sends sexual explicit emails to Rahm Emmanuel.
Senate:
I will amend last week's predictions and say that the Democrats will win 6 out of the 7 necessary seats (Adios, Macaca), losing only Harold "Vanilla" Ford in Tennesee, Harry Reid chokes Mitch McConnell, John Kerry emerges from hiding only to somehow insult Michael J. Fox.
Governorships:
No big news in these races as most are already decided, with the two tight ones being in Maryland and Minnesota. My picks: O'Malley knocks off Ehrlich in Maryland, Mike Hatch beats Tim Pawlenty in Minnesota, Deval Patrick wins in Massachusetts and in an attempt to show he's strong on crime, arrests and executes Kerry Healey, Arnold Schwarzenegger returns to acting in Kindergarten Cop 2, Elliott Spitzer accidentally sues himself on his way out of the Attorney General's office.
So, all in all, looking like it's going to be a fantastic day for the Democrats. In celebration, here's an hilarious photo of Steven Seagal playing the guitar:
* Trademarked by PK
posted by quint at 11:37 AM
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