Vulgar, the lie

The world of academia is full of hypocrisy, like liberal colleges preaching free speech and then flipping out when conservative speakers come to campus and girls wearing f me heels and tank tops and then flipping out when men expect sex at the end of the night. But the absolute height of hypocrisy was just exemplified by this woman. Now I don't want to take the time to reopen the article to find our her name, so we'll just refer to her as Exagerrator P. Shegotcaught.

Ms. Shegotcaught was the Dean of Admissions at MIT, which other than being the home of probably the weirdest bunch of people you will ever meet in your entire life, is also a pretty good technical college. So, Exagerrator spent some time as Dean of Admissions arguing against inflating of students' resumes and the overall intense focus on the application process. Turns out, she made up three of her own degrees.

This happens a lot. I, for example, list on my resume a Doctorate of Sexology from the University of Wisconsin, and every woman that I have ever slept with (all 1 of you) can attest to that being a little white lie. Exagerrator, who started at MIT as an administrative assistant, lied her way all the way to Dean of Admissions by listing degrees from technical schools she never attended. Kind of like President Bush having that Harvard MBA. As a side note, I wonder if the professors at Harvard Business School conveniently omit Bush as an alumnus when they're speaking to potential students.

I love when things like this happen. I love when people get caught lying on their resumes, when CEO's get caught lying to the board, when politicians get caught stealing from the taxpayers and accepting bribes, when people get their comeuppance. This woman spent a big part of her career judging peoples' lives and their worth, voting people up and down based upon how much community service they did in High School and how many AP tests they took. She's the one that sent out those letters to thousands of students who didn't make the cut at MIT, making them wonder if they had just taken that extra class or volunteered that extra summer at Church, maybe they would have gotten in. When does Exagerrator P. Shegotcaught get hired by the President?

PS: To compensate for the extra bitter post today, I'll pile on the funny tomorrow

Yeah, I really do think

President Bush gave a speech today where talked about the wage gap between the rich and the poor, uncertain economic times, and the general unfairness of executive salaries. What the fuck? Is Dick Cheney hibernating?

The President also took the time to leer awkwardly at nubile Wharton grads (see above) patriotically pander to members of the NYPD, and also to "ring that great big bell that I heard about".

In other news, five suspicious packages were found strewn throughout Boston this afternoon, including one about two blocks from my office, causing Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick to call the hoax "not funny". Way to take a stand, Deval! As a side note, I hereby bequeath all of my belongings to my mom. Phil, you can have my student loan debt.

I've sat upon the setting sun, but never, never, never... I never wanted water once

Quick note to Matt Drudge: We all get it. It's cold out. And thanks for the irony lesson.

Due to the fact that within the past year, the world seems to have finally decided that global warming actually exists, conservative pundits everywhere seem to be pointing to the fact that it is cold. Hey, dipshits, it's winter. It's supposed to be cold. This is straight out of the Tom Delay "I'm not corrupt because I am not currently receiving a bribe as I am talking right now" school.

Simply because it's no longer 70 degrees in Central Park doesn't exactly mean 50 years of scientific study (and one ego trip of a movie with that guy from Tennessee who was a Senator) is bunk. In fact the two things have nothing to do with each other. Now if the polar ice caps started freezing again and Patagonia was no longer grass covered and people could breath in Los Angeles and we weren't being bent over oil barrels by sheiks, well, maybe then it would be time to give Exxon tax breaks. Go fuck yourselves.

"He'd be Orenthal the bus driving murderer"

The Juice is back in the news, this time confirming a rumor of a news story that broke a while back -- he will appear on Fox TV in an interview with book publisher/Bernie Kerik mistress/absolute bitch Judith Regan, where he will discuss how he would have killed Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman, if he had committed the murders.

There is significant conjecture about what technique OJ would have used, although my guess is he would have done it EXACTLY THE SAME WAY HE DID IT the first time, except this time he wouldn't have left his bloody glove, a trail of blood leading to his house, blood in his car, more iterations of blood, a note with the bodies that said, "Sorry Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman for murdering you, Love, OJ", and a book, "Murdering Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman and Me: It is my bag, baby" by OJ Simpson.

Fox toyed with the title of the interview, trying to incorporate in their normal themes of midget/millionaire marriages and and alien autopsies while watching Cops, but eventually settled on: "O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here's How It Happened", beating out their second choice, "O.J. Simpson: I Did It, Here's How It Happened". Some of the other rejected titles:

"O.J. Simpson: Here's to you, Double Jeopardy! Also, I did it."
"O.J. Simpson: I am trying to drive Fred Goldman insane. I also did it."
"O.J. Simpson: I still have my Heisman. And I did it."
"O.J. Simpson: When does this check clear? By the way, I did it."